Jim ran down to his basement lab and finished the final touches of his present for Sharon's birthday. He was tring to make perfume, but somehow it smelled more like a bottle of coke. "Oh well" said Jim. "She'll be happy I got her this instead of a card." Little did he know just how happy she would be after she tried it out.

Jim decided to nip out to the local florist to pick up a dozen roses for Sharon. However when he got there it had been replaced by some sort of a new-age techno shop. inside the store everthing was bathed in heavy blue light. The absurdly chesty salesgirl was wearing a skin-tight latex jumpsuit with a danderously low neckline and a diamond cut out of the front to expose her muscular tummy. To Jim it seemed that somehow her skin would have been blue even without the heavy lighting. He decided to greet her first.

"Hello, I was looking for Happ-Sunny flowers. do you know thier new location?"

"No I don't, but we do have quite an assortment of plants here, if that's what you're looking for." She guided Jim past all sorts of rooms filled with ramdom unworldly objects, an finally to one rather humid area in which hundreds of plants were crammed. Quite a few were over 8-feet tall and carnivoreus-looking.

"Do any of these plants eat people?" Jim asked.

"Yes, no wait I mean no, of course not, I mean really; what kind of a plant eats people? I thought you asked if they ate pork! Of course they eat pork! I mean after all- it's what's for dinner isn't it?*" She replied ending with a nervous laugh.

"I'm just looking for roses, do you have any of those?"

"Of course! Why here's one right here!" She said, producing a rather volumious, glowing, rose-type blossom from behind a pile of large tendrils. **Now if he'll just buy this I can be one step closer to ruling earth**

"Excuse me m'am but you just thought out loud"

"no I didn't"

"Yes you did; you said: **Now if he'll just buy this I can be one step closer to ruling earth**"

"Umm... I'm a ventriloquist. Thats a little trick I do, I pretend to be an alien trying to take over earth. Funny huh?"

At this point Jim decided to:

*Brought to you by the international pork council