Jim groggily picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Good morning sir. This is Francine with MCI long distance. How are you this morning?"

Jim emitted a low, plaintive groan into the receiver and slammed the phone back down. He wanted to doze back off into his dream, but recalling it was his girlfriend Sharon's birthday, he decided he should give her a ring. He picked the phone back up and dialed, but curiously, after 12 rings there was still no answer.

Jim groaned.

"Son of a bitch," he mumbled, swinging his hairy legs over the side of his bed. "MCI is doin' it door-to-door, now."

The rapping sound repeated smartly, almost professionally. Jim shuffled across his hardwood floor, grasping for his robe. It would not do to answer in the buff. One could get arrested for that. Jim wasn't about to follow in his father's footsteps, not that direction.

The door had time to sound off once more before Jim groggily reached it. Belatedly, he realized he was probably a fright, as he usually suffered from near-terminal bedhead in the morning. It was too late, however; the light of day was streaming inside, illuminating every single flaw he possessed.

"Package, sir," came a voice just as smart, sharp and professional as the knocking.

Jim peered painfully past the terribly cheerful sunlight pelting him like tiny golden swizzle sticks and into the eyes of a remarkably tall woman dressed in a kind of uniform he failed to recognize. It was black with yellow piping and looked almost painted on her without really revealing anything. She was also, to his surprise, rather taller than he was. That did not happen very often to him.

"I'm sorry," he stammered, still not quite there, "a package? From whom?"

Once again a little late, he noticed that the statuesque carrier had a cardboard box the size of his head underneath one arm. Her other hand held a clipboard, which she checked.

"A...Hubert Wu, of Climax, Minnesota." Her words were clipped and clearly in formal dress, without being entirely unfriendly.

Wu? Doctor Wu? Christ, Jim thought, what did that quack want from him now. His expression must have been telling, for the woman before him shifted slightly.

"Did you wish to refuse the package, sir?" she asked.

Jim chased the last of his cobwebs away. "Oh, no...no, that's fine, I'll take it."

She smiled a tight little smirk as Jim accepted the box from her. The odor of vanilla and jasmine followed the package, though jim could not discern if the smell originated from it or the woman. He signed his name absently on the proferred clipboard, whereupon the oddly dressed carrier performed a neat aboutface and returned to her van, also colored black and yellow. Jim nearly dropped the package as he was virtually forced to watch the hypnotic motion of the woman's incredible hips and ass...the action made Jim think of Swiss clockwork, except that clocks rarely graced Jim with the stirrings of an erection. The van, which was of an unfamiliar design, started up with a low purr and pulled out into the street. Smartly, of course.

Jim closed the door, restoring the murky dank that lived quite comfortably inside his home. He walked to his dining table (not that he ever ate off of it) in order to set the tan box down and get some coffee going, but he stopped when he thought he heard a strange noise. It sounded a little like bees fucking.

"What the hell?" Placing the mysterious package to his ear, Jim discovered the source of the noise, if the quiet, rhythmic humming could be awarded that term. As he listened, Jim found that, bizarrely, his normally predictable penis was still swelling, poking out of his robe for no apparent reason.

Jim ripped the packing tape off the package and cleared away the peanuts. He saw a small gilded cage and lifted it out.

"Wow!", he thought, "It looks just like a ferret, but it has weird eyes." The eyes of the ferret'like creature were a bright gold color.

With the cage revealed, Jim could clearly tell that the vanilla scent was coming from the animal as was the purring sound. Both were

much stronger and Jim's penis was now at full attention. Then....

Jim began petting the creature and quickly lost himself in the soft fur. The creature continued purring and seemed quite content. Jim loved the feeling of the soft fur and the electric tingle that raced through his body with each touch. After fifteen minutes he noticed a draft he hadn't noticed before and put the cage down. He sat down in shock at seeing the huge bulge of his balls, each the size of grapefruit, and his flaccid penis reaching down to his knees. It was slowly coming to attention as he stared at it, and he was hit with the idea to...

Jim picked up the phone and started to dial, but paused for a moment, trying to remember whether the number he was dialing belonged to Sharon or Shannon. He always seemed to get the two confused. Once he had convinced himself that he had the right number, he finished dialing.

"Hello?" came Sharon's voice.

"Hi sweetie!" he answered, "You'll never guess what I've got!"

"A birthday present for little ol' me?" she asked with mock innocence.

"Uhh..." Jim had momentariliy forgotten that it was her birthday, and the question had caught him off guard. "Yeeeaaahh. Uh huh. You saw right through me," he said awkwardly, hoping she wouldn't notice his gaff. She didn't.

"Really? I was sure you would forget, just like last year, but I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry. Will I be surprised?"

"Why don't you come over here and find out?" he replied.

"Okay, I'll be over in five to ten," she answered, and hung up the phone. He did likewise.

As he turned away from the phone, Jim felt something against his leg. Looking down, he remembered his enlarged penis with a jolt. The sight of his huge member dangling nearly to his knees through the opening in the front of his robe aroused him. He felt a great rush of blood to his groin and his new eighteen-inch member began to swell. 'It must be at least four inches across,' he thought. He undid the sash on his robe to get a better look at his grapefruit-sized balls. Simply put, they were huge. He reached down and lifted them slightly to gauge their heft. Each one must weigh more than five pounds, he marveled.

By this time, his still-growing cock had reached over twenty inches in length and somewhere around five inches across. Its tip looked remarkably like a ripe apple, both in color and size. When he reached down to grab his monster member, he found that he had to squeeze both of his hands tightly around it in order for his fingertips to touch. He tried jerking it off, but its sheer size made that difficult and unsatisfying. Then he had an idea.