Sharon's birthday!

Jim hopped out of bed, his eyes wide as he realized he hadn't gotten her a present yet. He jumped into and out of the shower, brushed his teeth, and ran a worn-out comb through his hair, and then

He went to mall, heading toward's the local hallmarks store, when he saw an odd shop called Spells R Us. He lingered at the window for a moment, tempted to go in...

Jim entered the card store and looked around. It had been some time since he had needed to buy a card, and he realized there was no shortage of choices. He first looked at the Shoebox greeting cards, but while he found most of them quite amusing, he knew Sharon would have quite a different feeling. That was the one problem with dating the president of the school's feminist organization--no sense of humor.

The next group of cards was from a brand that Jim had never heard of before. This batch was called SEXploitation, and the cards had the slogan "See the person in a whole new light". These cards had photos of people of all shapes and sizes on the cover, and inside there was a sappy poem comparing the recipient to the person on the cover. Jim thought that this might be a good card to get Sharon; while she might have lacked a sense of humor, Jim knew she appreciated irony.

The final cards had strange colorful designs on the cover, almost like those 3-d prints, Jim thought. When he opened the cards to see what was written in them, he saw that these were blank cards, with the only writing was the disclaimer at the bottom that said, "A Truthwriter card--write what you believe--a subsidiary of the truthwriter company". While Jim knew that he would never be confused with Shakespeare, he considered himself quite a poet.

Finally, after much deliberation, Jim decided upon his purchase.